newby
Money Shot Star
Posts: 54
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Post by newby on Nov 23, 2006 0:53:28 GMT -5
I suppose I'm going through that young adult self pity thing that everyone goes through, but I'm wondering what's to become of me. What does the future hold for Newby? Will I achieve wealth, power, and the elimination of stupidity, making this world a shining example of the Utopia we've always dreamed of? Or will I be one of those people that decorates my cubicle more than my house and sports sweatshirts with iron-on kitten transfers and one day wakes up to find a bald man sucking on my toes? You tell me.
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newby
Money Shot Star
Posts: 54
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Post by newby on Nov 27, 2006 22:24:50 GMT -5
Wow, nobody gives two shits about my future. If I cared more about your opinions I'd be really depressed.
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newby
Money Shot Star
Posts: 54
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Post by newby on Nov 27, 2006 22:26:33 GMT -5
HA! I didn't censor "shits"!!! Eat it auto-censor!
Okay, now someone seriously post something because this looks sad. I posted three threads to myself.
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Post by Justin Hagerman on Nov 28, 2006 11:09:04 GMT -5
Don't be so depressed! If it makes you feel any better, I really doubt you will end up wearing a sweatshirt with an iron-on kitten transfer. It'll probably be a puppy-transfer.
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Post by crusader on Nov 28, 2006 13:26:57 GMT -5
Well Newbs, I have two pieces of good news!
1) I'm using Rogaine, so hopefully I won't be blad
2) Although I enjoy feet, I wouldn't want to suck on them. That's just nasty. I've never understood foot fetishes. I mean, like real sexual foot fetishes. Nasty shit. But I do have beautiful feet. It's true.
Anyway, it was really, really funny that you replied twice to a post about you being a loser.
Also, we're all losers here. This is a den of inequity. We're vendors of the mediocre. At least you make more money than either of us. See, I can say that because you, Justin and I are the only people who post on here.
And finally, things could be worse. You could be Justin. I mean, he's a closeted gay man, and he hates America, and is part of Al Queda. And he got docked pay for burying his dog.
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newby
Money Shot Star
Posts: 54
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Post by newby on Nov 29, 2006 0:46:11 GMT -5
Cool, things are looking up! I feel like a buhlemic girl who hangs out with fat chicks so I can feel better! You guys are the best friends ever!
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Post by Terry on Nov 29, 2006 14:27:29 GMT -5
Newby, as I've told you numerous times in the past, I'd totally do you. Why haven't you called me? P.S. I have no phone so by "calling" I mean leaving a note with Gus at the liquor store. But then there's the matter of finding someone to read the note....
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newby
Money Shot Star
Posts: 54
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Post by newby on Nov 29, 2006 22:01:29 GMT -5
So no phone sex???
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Post by Terry on Nov 30, 2006 12:23:56 GMT -5
No, sorry! Isn't it odd that I have a reliable internet connection but no phone? Weird. Guess we'll just have to stick to cyber sex, babe!
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Post by crusader on Dec 1, 2006 10:54:56 GMT -5
Sweet. Make sure you two do it on the message boards, because I would love to read that action.
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Post by Satan's Secretary on Dec 1, 2006 12:28:16 GMT -5
Things are really steaming up here!! Is newby as superfine as Terry?
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Post by Justin Hagerman on Dec 1, 2006 19:27:42 GMT -5
Ha, she wishes!
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newby
Money Shot Star
Posts: 54
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Post by newby on Dec 2, 2006 2:00:12 GMT -5
Hey, come on, that's a pretty hard expectation to live up to. Honestly, the only reason I learned to read and write is to give myself some kind of edge over hotties like Terry. But still I fell short of my aspirations. So then I got a phone. So, I guess the answer to the proposed question of my "superfine" hotness level boils down to this: Are looks really everything?....are they???
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Post by crusader on Dec 4, 2006 15:38:04 GMT -5
Oh, Satan's Secretary, you little devil! I'm one of a select few who have seen both Newby and Terry in real life. I've had a knife held to my throat by each one, and I can honestly say that a child between the two, would likely resemble Sloth from The Goonies.
Except this Sloth has moxy. And a camo hat.
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Post by Justin Hagerman on Dec 10, 2006 13:11:17 GMT -5
That was a swell party. Shame we had to leave before the orgy, though.
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